Life Update + Casual Spring Outfit

Happy Wednesday all! I wanted to take the time to share a life update with you today. If you follow me on Instagram (@leonamg), you may have seen that I posted a set of questions on my story last night. There were questions like “What’s most important to you? Money or Happiness,” and questions like “Are you happy with your current job?” and a few others.  I received SO many DM’s after I posted these and I loved that it opened me up to have a larger conversation with so many people. It turns out, most of us aren’t super happy with our current situation and it lead me to wonder why we don’t share our insecurities and vulnerability more often. These aren’t signs of weakness – it shows so much strength to be able to open up. I challenge you to be more vulnerable today.

Until last week, I was working at a startup in San Francisco. The role wasn’t going down a path that I was excited about, and I wasn’t growing or feeling fulfilled, but I would have never left. I was terrified of not having a stable income, I was too scared to think about how I would spend my entire day or how I would afford to pay for my own health insurance, and a million other reasons. But last week I didn’t have a choice – my position was eliminated and I’m officially fun-employed. Honestly, I don’t know why it’s called fun-employed, it’s actually really stressful. I don’t think any amount of money could make me feel secure during this time or like it’s the right time make a change. I went to Whole Foods the other day and walked past the fresh deli counter that I normally spend a half – hour at picking out scallops and fresh salmon. Instead, I purchased cans of tuna for $1.99 because I’m so scared to spend money right now. This is comical to me. I’m not poor, I’m not struggling to get by. But my mind works in extremes and I get inside my head all the time. Our minds are beyond powerful – they can think of the worst case scenario in 2 seconds and talk us out of any decision.

So let’s get to the point. I want to be happy. I want to live a life that inspires me and one that I’m excited to live. I had people reach out to me yesterday telling me they’re inspired by me?! It made my heart so happy. But I thought, how can I inspire you when I don’t feel inspired myself. It’s time for a change. I’ve made the decision that I’m not going to go back to work (at least not for awhile). Scary, right? I KNOW! I’m freaking out. I have moments that feel really good, where I feel like I’m making a great decision. And others when I feel like I’m a completely crazy or a failure and need to get on the job search ASAP. I don’t know how this will play out, but I’m excited for the next adventure.

I was talking to one of my best friends about my decision today. We were talking about that feeling you have when you’re so unhappy – dreading Monday through Friday and only looking forward to the weekend. It’s sad. I cried a few weekends ago on Sunday night because I just hated that Monday was coming, a real case of the Sunday Scaries. But it made me realize that  I don’t want to live my life waiting for Friday’s.  I’m sure some days are going to challenge me in ways I could have never imagined, and I know there will be times when I’m scared, but I’m in control of every decision I make and I plan to make every decision with purpose. I used to chase money, but I realize that’s not going to fulfill me if I’m not loving what I’m doing. Maybe some people can push through – I feel like I’ve done that for years – but now I’m ready to have more control over my life and create a life I love.

If you’re interested in following along on this journey, stay tuned, and please reach out if you’re going through something similar! I love talking through this stuff. I’m hoping to take a few months (I have no idea on timing) off to really think about what I want to focus on – spend some time with my family, and go on a few trips. It’s said you should walk away from anything in your life that gives you bad vibes – you don’t need to explain it or make sense of it. It’s your life and you deserve to do what makes you happy.

FAQ’s

I’ve received the questions below a few times now so I thought I would answer them!  🙂

• Are you scared? 100%. I’m terrified. But If something brings me so much fear and joy at the same time, I have to think about where the fear is coming from. I know If things got rough I could always go back to work. I just need to take this time to try it, that way if/when I choose to go back to work I’m dedicated to my role and excited about what I’m doing! Shoutout to my Dad for the bomb advice! 😉
• How are you going to afford to take time off? Luckily, I have been saving for this. I was planning to take some time off next year so it’s definitely a little sooner than I was planning but what’s the point in waiting? I also paid my college loans so I have absolutely no debt – which was a huge deciding factor for me.
• How did you make this decision? It was a hard decision and one I still struggle with. Even tonight as I right this blog post I wonder if this is the best use of my time. But the better questions is “WHY NOT?” Because if not now, then when? I don’t think anyone ever feels truly secure with a decision like this, no amount of money will make you feel confident that you can take time off and do your own thing. I love the saying “If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a no!” So, unless I find a role/company that excites me so much and is a HELL YES! Then for right now, I’m going to do my own thing. As scary as it is, I don’t think this is something I will ever regret.

Just remember. Nobody ever achieved greatness by playing it safe. 🙂

Thank you for reading and thanks for the constant love and support! It means the world to me! Xx

[Outfit Details]

Photos by @chandad

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